Gluten Free Fireman Sauza®-Ritas

The ladies on the street have been waiting all week for a chance to discuss leggings and jeggings versus pant peggings after finding this compelling margarita recipe from Sauza Tequila:

I think you'll agree it appears to be a near perfect instructional video... except for the gluten laden light beer.  But never fear!  My dear, dear sister/neighbor/friend took my suggestion and made them with hard cider instead!  The only thing that would make them better would be a kitten.  Kittens make everything better!

Ingredients:

1 can Sauza® Blue Silver 100% Agave Tequila*

1 bottle favorite hard cider (apple or pear)

1 can frozen limeade

1 can water

*If Sauza® Blue Silver isn’t available, try Sauza® Silver

To Make:
Pour limeade and cider into a pitcher with ice. Fill limeade can ⅔ with Sauza® Blue Silver and pour into pitcher. Finally, add a can of water, stir and enjoy.

Weekend Cindi and Gluten Freeky Kim



Happiness is a Warm (Gluten Free) Pancake

Look what I came home to after a day of perpetual driving: a plate full of pancakes made with Pamela's gluten free baking and pancake mix!

The Christmas before I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, my neighbor (who owns her own bakery) gifted us a small bag of Pamela's. My whole family loved it better than any other pancake mix we had eaten--gluten included.  It became our pancake of choice, even before I knew I had to eat gluten free. 

Coming home to a dinner I didn't have to cook or plan made it feel like Christmas all over again!

Just follow the directions on the package!

What Would You Do-oo-ooh for a Klondike Bar?

I eat ice cream from time to time, but I don't usually crave it or get excited about it. But today, the last Klondike single was calling my name from the freezer.

There's nothing on the single that tells you what's in the bar so I got online to find out the gluten free status of the Klondike original bar. There was nothing concrete on the celiac pages or the Klondike site. I did see mention of the company that makes the product: Unilever.

I decided to call Unilever directly. A very helpful lady told me on their end that all 'allergen' ingredients are plainly listed on all their products. Gluten ingredients (wheat, barley, rye, malt, oats, etc) would be clearly labeled...except I didn't have the box. I was just holding the last, lone bar in my hand.

She dug a little deeper and read, not only the entire ingredient list, but also the processing information. The conclusion? The bar is gluten free (for now).

That's what I did for a Klondike bar.

Aww, Bi+ch! I'm Hit! I'm Hit!

Story goes that a group of guys made their way up to the country for a boys' weekend.  After some beers and bonfire building, someone got the great idea to throw a box of unspent ammunition into the flames.  Some of the cartridges cooked off and went flying.  One grazed the head merry-maker in the leg.  He started hopping around yelling, "Aww, bitch!  I'm hit!  I'm hit!" 

I love that story.  I love that phrase.  And now I own it.

There's no doubt that I've been hit.  I've been glutened and I'm not sure where it came from.  Maybe from dinner at PF Changs'?  Maybe from some random crumbs of garlic bread I served my guests?  I don't know for sure, but I know I'm hit.

I woke up the other morning feeling tired and unrested.  Everything on me ached.  I had spent the day before dancing and being animated in a morphsuit, so I initially thought I was sore from that.  As I stirred, I realized my left arm was totally numb and my hand was twisted into an arthritic Lady Gaga claw.  I knew I had been glutened just by how I felt. 

Bloated?  Hit.
Frequent trips to the bathroom?  Hit.
Acne around my mouth?  Hit.
Brain fog?  Hit.
Itchy scalp?  Hit.
Sore throat?  Hit.
Bone numbing fatigue?  Hit.
Night sweats?  Hit
Red, burning eyes?  Hit.
Low grade fever?  Hit.
Chest congestion? Hit.

The final blow that sunk my battleship: a sharp pain in my lower lung every time I try to take a breath. 

I accidentally glutened myself in December.  I was making gravy for a big extended family dinner.  Out of habit I licked the spoon before putting it in the sink.  The same symptoms I have right now started rolling in.  When I got the sharp pain in my lungs, I was sure the congestion had turned to pneumonia.  Chest x-rays said it wasn't and it slowly went away after a week.  I went back to feeling like the new gluten free me.

Then in March it happened again.  I couldn't pin point the gluten source that time but the waves of symptoms slowly hit in the same order as December: numbness, claw hand, bloating... you get the picture.  But that month the pain in my right lung got increasingly worse.  It got so bad that it woke me up one night.  I have to insert a side note here:  I have a really high tolerance for pain.  It's not bravado, just fact.  The pain and the inability to fill my lungs with a full breath had me panicked. 

I went back to the doctor that day and got clear lung x-rays, clear ultrasound of my abdomen, clear CT scan of my gallbladder and surrounding bits.  Again, the pain went away after a week. 

I asked for copies of the results only to find that my past two lung x-rays said I had emphysema?!?  Needless to say, I went to a pulmonologist for a second opinion.  I know now, for sure, that my lungs are fine.  Actually, they're better than fine, they're in phenomenal condition.  So why the pain in my lower right lung?  My PA, my gastro guy and the lung doc all shrugged their shoulders; maybe it's the gluten?

So here I'm back at the celiac bonfire.  Some ammunition has been thrown into the flames.  My body has spent the last three days cooking off the cartridges.  The bullet has flown.  My lower right rib cage hurts each time I take a breath.  Third time is a charm.  I know for sure where the pain is coming from and I'm left with the voice in my head saying,

"Aww, bitch!  I'm hit!  I'm HIT!"

Not a Lotsky is Gluten Free at Schlotzsky's

Sleep a few more minutes or make a lunch?  I chose sleep.

It was a really, really bad choice because I was going to be out of the house all day for a water polo tournament.  We were riding with another family, so I would have no way to go in search of gluten free options in the small town where we were spending the day. 

WHAT was I thinking? 

Lunch time came and we loaded up to go to Subway.  I get really gluten freaky in Subway.  I hear they're working on gluten free options.  I just can't imagine a way to make that place safe from cross contamination.  The line was so long at Subway that we decided to go to Scholtzsky's instead.

Have you ever been to Schlotzsky's?  They have the most wonderful bread and their sandwiches are almost like a mufaletta.  Their bread is definitely glutenous but I was hoping their salads might be an option.

I started with my standard litmus question, "Do you have a gluten free menu?"  I can almost always tell by the server's reaction what type of luck I am going to have.  The blank stare that I got told me this was going to be a challenge.  The kid went digging under the counter and brought up their nutritional information; informative but it had no allergen info.  I asked if I could speak with the manager. 

An even younger looking kid (he was the manager) came over and stared at me with an even blanker face when I asked he knew if there were any gluten free foods to be had. 

Gluuuuu-ten?  Wheeee-at?  I spoke directly into his ear spacers hoping it would help him hear, and possibly understand me better.  I smiled too.  Your salads?  Are they made in a separate area from the sandwiches?  I didn't even get an oral response.  He just kept staring and shaking his head slowly. 

I gave up.  I bought my daughter's sandwich and sat down.  But then I started shaking; I realized my blood sugar was dropping.  I decided to go back to the counter.

"I see from the pictures on the menu that your salads have avocado?  Yes?  Do you have any whole avocados?  Yes?"  (I got excited thinking I was getting somewhere.)  "May I buy a whole, unsliced avocado?"

You could have heard an ear spacer drop.  He couldn't even manage to shake his head no.  He said he had no way to know what to charge me.  I told him to charge me anything he wanted; ring it up as a whole salad.  I was getting what we call crazy hungry around my house which can quickly turn to hangry-a bad combination of hungry and angry.  I was still smiling but it was turning into a Gary Busey grin.

And then it happened, the sides of the box that constrained his cognitive abilities bulged a little.  "I will get you a whole avocado.  I'll give it to you for free.  I will go get it for you myself.  I haven't been around the bread." 

He brought out the biggest, most perfectly ripe avocado I have ever seen.  I almost leaped over the counter to hug him.  He even came out from behind the counter to show me where the plastic knives were kept.  I told him thank you more than once but decided hugging his neck was too much. 

That avocado mixed with hot sauce and pepper was the best meal I have ever had at Schlotzskys! Thank you again young manager kid. 

P.S.  I read that Schlotzsky's is working on a gluten free bread.  I'm just not sure how anything could be better than that avocado was that day.