Not a Lotsky is Gluten Free at Schlotzsky's

Sleep a few more minutes or make a lunch?  I chose sleep.

It was a really, really bad choice because I was going to be out of the house all day for a water polo tournament.  We were riding with another family, so I would have no way to go in search of gluten free options in the small town where we were spending the day. 

WHAT was I thinking? 

Lunch time came and we loaded up to go to Subway.  I get really gluten freaky in Subway.  I hear they're working on gluten free options.  I just can't imagine a way to make that place safe from cross contamination.  The line was so long at Subway that we decided to go to Scholtzsky's instead.

Have you ever been to Schlotzsky's?  They have the most wonderful bread and their sandwiches are almost like a mufaletta.  Their bread is definitely glutenous but I was hoping their salads might be an option.

I started with my standard litmus question, "Do you have a gluten free menu?"  I can almost always tell by the server's reaction what type of luck I am going to have.  The blank stare that I got told me this was going to be a challenge.  The kid went digging under the counter and brought up their nutritional information; informative but it had no allergen info.  I asked if I could speak with the manager. 

An even younger looking kid (he was the manager) came over and stared at me with an even blanker face when I asked he knew if there were any gluten free foods to be had. 

Gluuuuu-ten?  Wheeee-at?  I spoke directly into his ear spacers hoping it would help him hear, and possibly understand me better.  I smiled too.  Your salads?  Are they made in a separate area from the sandwiches?  I didn't even get an oral response.  He just kept staring and shaking his head slowly. 

I gave up.  I bought my daughter's sandwich and sat down.  But then I started shaking; I realized my blood sugar was dropping.  I decided to go back to the counter.

"I see from the pictures on the menu that your salads have avocado?  Yes?  Do you have any whole avocados?  Yes?"  (I got excited thinking I was getting somewhere.)  "May I buy a whole, unsliced avocado?"

You could have heard an ear spacer drop.  He couldn't even manage to shake his head no.  He said he had no way to know what to charge me.  I told him to charge me anything he wanted; ring it up as a whole salad.  I was getting what we call crazy hungry around my house which can quickly turn to hangry-a bad combination of hungry and angry.  I was still smiling but it was turning into a Gary Busey grin.

And then it happened, the sides of the box that constrained his cognitive abilities bulged a little.  "I will get you a whole avocado.  I'll give it to you for free.  I will go get it for you myself.  I haven't been around the bread." 

He brought out the biggest, most perfectly ripe avocado I have ever seen.  I almost leaped over the counter to hug him.  He even came out from behind the counter to show me where the plastic knives were kept.  I told him thank you more than once but decided hugging his neck was too much. 

That avocado mixed with hot sauce and pepper was the best meal I have ever had at Schlotzskys! Thank you again young manager kid. 

P.S.  I read that Schlotzsky's is working on a gluten free bread.  I'm just not sure how anything could be better than that avocado was that day.