When You Wish Upon a Gluten Free Star

Pain.

That's what I feel. 

Anger, too. 

And embarrassment. 

Why? 

Because I drank an entire gluten filled beer.  Then I went out and bought 12 more.

Go ahead.  Say it.  Nothing can be said that I haven't said to myself. 

Why did I do it?  Well, that's the story.

I was at a pool party this weekend with my Angry Orchard cider and my carefully segregated gluten free snack plate when one of the guests offered my husband an imported beer and said, "It's pretty good AND it's gluten free!"

"What's this?!?!" I asked.

He showed me an imported Spanish beer called Estrella Damm.  I immediately recognized the name from when I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease two years ago.  Researching gluten-free beers was the first thing I did after diagnosis.  I couldn't remember what I had read about this beer. 

The box and bottle had no labeling stating it was gluten free, nor was there an ingredients list.

Then why did I drink it? 

When I doubted that it was gluten free, we all stood around discussing it.  I remembered the name and even recognized the label.  "Maybe because it's imported?"  "Maybe they're going for the mainstream market?"  "Maybe it's because gluten free beer gets a bad rap?"

Since there was no labeling and because my phone was almost dead, I didn't research it further. I went back to drinking my cider.  But one of the guests Googled "estrella damm gluten free" on his phone.  This is what I saw when he showed me the screen:

There it was!  The World's Best Gluten-Free Beer!

 

So I drank it!  I relished it!  I posed for photographs with my new find.  We all commented on it being, truly, the BEST gluten-free beer ever experienced!    I was thanking my lucky stars to have found a gluten-free beer that spoke to my beer-loving soul.

 

I was ecstatic.  Everyone else was happy for me too!

 

After the party, our designated driver took us to Spec's in search of more Estrella Damm.  We bought two six packs not believing how reasonably priced it was.

I popped the top on the second beer as soon as we settled in.  It still tasted good but I was starting to notice that my gums felt blistered... like when you've eaten something too hot and the skin peels away.  And my throat felt a little sore.

Now that I had access to the internet, I thought I'd read all about my new beer.



And that's when my idiot quotient grew exponentially. 

For, you see, there's more than one type of Estrella Damm beer.  DAURA is their gluten free version, not the lager I was drinking.

Had I not been blinded by the self directed anger, I might have seen the room spinning.  I was so mad at myself I couldn't speak.  Why?  Why did I drink it?  I was all set not to.  I even walked away from it once.  Why did I go back to it and drink it?

My husband summed it up in one sentence.  It may read as a quip or seem tinged with sarcasm but he said it with compassion and caring.  He looked me with kind eyes and said:

"You wanted to believe."

I did.  I wanted to believe I could regain a small part of myself. 

Most days I'm thankful for the renewed health my diagnosis has brought me but sometimes I wish I could be the beer-drinking, adventurous eater from my past. 

That 'gluten-free' Spanish beer was like the evening star, waiting to grant my wish.

I'm embarrassed at my capricious actions.  I'm angry that I lied to myself and believed the beer was safe to drink.  And I'm in pain.  Every part of my body hurts in response to the gluten I ingested. 

But I hurt deep down too; down to my soul. 


Upon further reading, I remember why I never searched for DAURA.  It is a 'gluten reduced' beer (down to 6 ppm) made with barley malt.  The gluten is removed with an industrial enzyme named Brewers Clarex.  The enzyme is supposed to break down the gluten to a minimal amount.  It sounded suspect and I can't live 'gluten reduced'.  Have you tried this beer?  Would you risk it?